Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
