I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
