Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
