Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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