Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize