You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he thought i was a dude.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
