I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
