you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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