She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just want to make out with him forever
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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