Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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