Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
