I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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