I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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