Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize