It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
