guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
