Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this just has baby written all over it
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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