Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
