i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
