im gay
i know
yea but for you.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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