yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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