I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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