he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
