I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
