I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
