"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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