Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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