I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
