I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
