He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
