Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize