I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
