I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
