Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
