ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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