Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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