If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize