Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
