Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
