Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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