No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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