tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
