Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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