problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just pee around me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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