We're facebook friends in real life
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
