Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
