used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
