He kissed a someone with a penis
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
