That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
