You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
