I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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