You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
