So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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