You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
