I bet he comes in French.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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