carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize