Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
