and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
