So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
