Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
