and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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