I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
