PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
