They should really pass out barf bags in church
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize